I hate your kilt.

It was ok in Braveheart. It's ok on Axl Rose and punk bands from the UK. I always thought I'd be ok with it on my groom, but I'm not. Maybe if he were Scottish...but the Irish don't actually, technically wear kilts. It's not really their thing. (Sometimes I think, as proud of his Irish heritage as he is, my groom actually wants to be Scottish.) 

I tried to be accommodating. "Ok," I said, "it's your wedding, too. But I don't think people there will understand." It's the Midwest, and the last time anyone wore a kilt in the Midwest was Briar Rentilla in the eleventh grade, and everyone thought it was a skirt. But even then, we had an excuse: it was the '90's.

And then his brother (who is also Irish, yet doesn't seem to "get it") called and excitedly told me how he'd Googled images of kilts, and, well, could he grow a beard for the wedding? Because all the guys in kilts in the Google images had big, bushy beards.

So said I, "You can...as long as you realize this is a wedding, and not a Renaissance Faire." 

img: ffffound

I just can't let it go. So, for example, it would be ok to wear a kilt if we were getting married at a manor in the highlands. Or if literally anyone in the wedding party were more Scottish than myself--and I'm only about a third Scottish. Or had an accent. We are what you'd call "Yankees."

Or, the bottom line, if I didn't feel he was doing it to be rebellious and alternative.

So that's my beef. Wear the kilt, if you can wear it authentically.  But not if it's because you like to think you're punk.